


Christmas Miracle

by ReiyaAkashiya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Not Really Character Death, Past Suicide Attempt, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReiyaAkashiya/pseuds/ReiyaAkashiya
Summary: A year and a half without him. The second Christmas without him. The guilt and loneliness built within him poured out. He cannot live without Hajime.





	Christmas Miracle

**Author's Note:**

> This is short and rushed written on Christmas eve. My first attempt on angst which I am not really good at. Not at all.
> 
> Happy Christmas everyone!!

It is a chilly Christmas eve. The streets are crowded with people who are either doing last-minute shopping or on their way to their dinner reservations in different restaurants. Tooru is hurrying his way back to his apartment after misplacing his gloves at work. He didn't have time to look for them for he still has a television show he needed to record. It is really stupid, he thought after avoiding to bump a couple who are holding hands in the street.

It is not that he's jealous of their relationship but sometimes, it just hurts having no one to celebrate occasions like Christmas. Well, he did have, two years ago. Hajime was always with him in his birthday, Valentines, Halloween, Christmas... Just thinking of him now makes Tooru tear up. A year and a half ago, he lost Hajime. He lost his other half in an accident in sea. The strong waves and unexpected strong wind and rain made their boat to capsize. Tooru himself barely survived, waking in the hospital a day later. However, Hajime was never found. 

Losing Hajime was like losing a part of himself. The amount of tears he shed for weeks were never enough to bring Hajime back. The rescue team gave up after weeks of looking, believing the high chance of possibility of his death. The loneliness ate Tooru after that. The presence of his family and friends didn't help for his recovery of losing his husband. 

"Iwaizumi would not like you to keep your ass in here for the whole month." He remembers Makki scolding him after a month of locking himself in the apartment he shared with his Iwa-chan. 

He also remembers how Mattsun solded him for passing out from being malnourished. Eating became a problem that time. Makki and Mattsun had to stay over during that time to keep him fed. 

The one he regrets the most was the tears his mother shed when he woke up again in the hospital. He felt throbbing pain from his bandaged wrists when he came about. His mother began to scold and cry at the same time. He tried to take his own life that time. He wailed with his mom soon after, apologizing, he cannot bear the pain anymore. 

After that, he went to went to see a therapist with the encouragement of his two bestfriends and his family. 

And after nine months, here he is. He went back to his job as an accountant, his coworkers happily welcomed him back. He also models part time, only when he has free time, his regular job can be demanding at times. 

Everyday, he still thinks of Hajime. Their memories in places they went to, things that remind of him, even the corner of their apartment. Avoiding the cause of the sadness does not solve the problem. 

Tooru shakes off his deep thoughts as he fished out his keys from his backpack. He enters the keys in the knob when he noticed the door was not locked at all. Weird, he clearly remembers locking the door when he went out. He silently opens the door and sees a pair of shoes in the doorway. Makki and Mattsun are in a hotspring trip. His Mom and sister are in Sendai to celebrate Christmas. So there is no way someone would visit him during this time. He tightens the grip on his bag as he slowly walks to the living room. 

He almost shrieked when a shadow stood up from the couch and faced him. 

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" 

The shadow looked somehow surprised. "Sorry.. Sorry. You still hide the key under the pot, Tooru." And with that, as if scripted, the moonlight shone throuh the veranda glass door, revealing the shadow's features.

Tooru blinked. He must have heard it wrong. He must have seen this wrong. "Funny, I thought I was done with hallucinations months ago. Must've been the season.." 

"Tooru, you're not hallucinating," the man took a step forward. 

"Oh God, it still speaks," Tooru crouched down and covers his ears. He shuts his eyes as he would do everytime. The same spikey hair, green eyes, chiseled facial features and tan skin. Everything with him was so perfect. 

Tooru feels a warm pair of hands cover his own. "Hey, hey. I'm real. I'm sorry." 

"Hajime? You're dead." He looks at the eyes, seemed like searching for something.

Hajime chuckles softly. "Funny thing is I am not. This is real."

"This isn't funny! A year and a half and only now!" He lets out the tears that were threatened to fall. He breaks into sobs as he continuously punch the man in the arm. "What the hell! It's even Christmas! I've been alone! I am alone even now! I even tried to kill myself! I was sick.. Mom cried.. Iwa-chan.." Tooru continues to cry his heart out. The stress and loneliness built within was poured with his tears. "It is so painful..." 

Hajime hugs him as he cries. "I'm sorry, it had been too long. I'm sorry, Tooru." Sobs turned to hiccups which stopped after a few minutes. The rise and fall of Tooru's shoulder indicates that he's fallen asleep. 

\--

He wakes up with a throbbing headache. He cried himself to sleep again. Last time was a months ago and he had a dream. Beautiful or not, he cannot say. He went to fully awake when he felt something shift to his left. His eyes widened at the sight of Hajime sleeping beside him. With trembling hands, he touches Hajime's face, his cheeks, eyes, nose, and lips that went to a smile. "You're real," he whispers. Hajime's arms pulls him closer as he opens his eyes. "Yeah," a pause. "Do you always cry your self to sleep?" 

He nods. "It was just last night after a few months," he bumps his forehead on Hajime's chest and turns his head to side to listen to his heartbeat. "Iwa-chan, you're really alive." 

"I am." 

A single tear falls. "What happened? Why now?" 

Hajime's hand went up from his waist to play Tooru's hair, the soft brown locks he missed. "Six months go, I did not know you existed, or Iwaizumi Hajime existed." 

He pouts. "You're confusing." 

"Let me finish, Shittykawa," Hajime squeezes the top of his head earning a glare from the man beneath him. "I was washed in a nearby island, I woke up in a hospital not knowing who I am or from where I am. I had head concussion that resulted to amnesia. It took me six months to recover, another month to remember my name. It took me a whole year to remember you. I honestly do not know on how much I am missing. But I know I've been gone for too long. And I'm really sorry about that. I had nowhere to go, Tooru."

"Oh, Iwa-chan," Tooru sits up on the bed. "Don't you ever leave again. I love you." 

"I love you too." 

\-- 

"HOLY SHIT!!"

"What the fuck, Makki! I am still sleeping!" 

"You gotta see this!" Hanamaki jumps from his futon to Matsukawa's, facing the phone screen to him. It shows the selfie Oikawa sent an hour ago. 

"SHIT! We need to go back to Tokyo now!" 

 

~

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?


End file.
